Nothing lives rent free in our heads. The cost is awareness.

Recent Magic // What I’ve experienced this week.

Overcoming Adverts.

I was watching a film last night and it had lots of advertisement breaks. It kept playing this advert for the new horror film, Abigail.

This made me think, if you see an advert enough times so it annoys you, do you want to go and see the movie just to sort of overcome it?

Nothing lives rent free in our heads. The cost is awareness.

In the same way that sometimes we when we can’t stop thinking about the chocolate in the cupboard we just go and eat it and then the problem is dealt with and we are free from the suffering. Is that how adverts work? Is this how dopamine works?

By the way, the movie I was watching was Demon Seed.

A horror film from the 80s, where a computer impregnates a woman.. Yes it is bizarre. 70s fear of technology manifested as a pervy computer!?

On the plus side, it does star the excellent Julie Christy which made me remember that Liam Gallagher wrote a song about her, Love Like a Bomb. It’s nice when the association machine (brain) takes you somewhere uplifting.

I should probably be more mindful of what I consume but I love sci-fi and horror. It’s probably because they are unpredictable (which is linked to increased dopamine levels). I have put something positive in my awareness this week..

..I’m re-reading The Courage To Be Happy.

It carries on from the book, The Courage to be Disliked which I also loved. Both books explore themes like.. sometimes we hold ourselves back as we are afraid to move towards our freedom. And it had me considering a theme that has been present with me recently..

Does the past influence the future?

..or is it more our interpretation of the past that influences our present or future? If something stressful happened to you, did it really change the world or did it just change your world? And more important than hanging on to the past where do you want to go next?

What about The Courage To Be Bored

..that would be a good title for a book on mindfulness/modern life. Of course, the plot twist would be that behind the boredom we find the beauty. We find connection. No moments of wonder happened when we are frantically chasing dopamine. Wonder is melting on the beach, soaking in the view from a mountaintop, seeing a baby smile.

Today I was thinking how I’m so bombarded with information.

I remember reading an article about how we get the same amount of information in our day as a person from the 15th century would get in a year. I don’t think this is totally true because that person would just get different information. They would be taking in information on what they’re doing and how they’re feeling. They’d likely be more present, taking in social media or news. And actually those things are not happening in the present.. they are just stories.

But anyway, I was thinking how I keep so many tabs open on my browser, how I save videos to watch later on YouTube. There’s so much information..

I’ve become a librarian.

How much of my day am I just processing data? And the lists are just getting longer. My book wish list is out of control. How long will it be when I die? On that note, will I carry that advert for Abigail in my brain till I die?

I’m looking for answers outside of me.

This kind of fits into the thing I mentioned before about overcoming adverts by surrendering to them. That feeling of having to do something to feel complete, to feel satisfied. When I have that feeling that I need to bookmark something, to subscribe to something. I’m saying to myself, the answer is outside of me and I need this information, this video, this book to get somewhere.

When really the answer is within me.

With mindfulness you can become more aware of each moment, so when you see a book and the title makes you think, ‘Oh I need to read that’, then a feeling has come online. Is it a feeling of not being enough? Or is it an excitement that there’s an opportunity to grow? That’s the information that I will now seek the information inside each experience.

It’s time for a mindful plan…

May the wish lists be shorter.

May the tabs be closed.

May the distractions be less.

May the experiences be felt fully.