Thoughts are masters at sales, creating custom content just for you.
How not to buy into stress and rumination.
Do you have charity chuggers where you live?
Chuggers is a portmanteau of the words "charity" and "mugger" (a street robber). I’m not sure if it’s just a UK thing.
You turn down the street and there’s 4 charity fund raisers spread out so you can’t get passed without being jumped.
I got accosted yesterday by a chugger in the street. Honestly, it was 5 minutes of her attempt at rapport building before she told me what the charity was.
Obviously there are good charities and causes but I’m talking about these sales people that accost you in the street, don’t accept a polite no thank you and have an answer to everything you say.
What has this got to do with mindfulness? Well ‘chuggers’ are like your thoughts.
You walking down the street or doing your thing when they pop up and stop you.
But thoughts can come up anywhere not just in the street! You can’t avoid them, not even on holiday.
It’s not like you can just walk to the other side of the street with thoughts. So you have to have a strategy to deal with them (a mindfulness practice).
You can take the same approach with chuggers as you can with thoughts.
You don’t want to be rude..
Imagine you have to walk past chuggers everyday to get to work.
It’s the same with thoughts. Most days you’ll bump into the same thoughts.
You want a friendly, efficient interaction.
You don’t want to carry any bad vibes into your day.
You want to politely decline and get back to life.
Sometimes you have to be firm..
Chuggers often have an answer to everything you say.
Thoughts are salespeople too. In fact they are masters at sales.
They have the most emotional sticky content and it’s custom written just for you!
So can you keep your kindness but be firm?
But if you don’t keep your calm..
don’t feel bad,
don’t carry the interaction with you,
just practice letting it go.
this is especially good for thoughts because if we get annoyed at our thoughts this can easily breed more thoughts.
And while we’re at it why not imagine being your best self..
How would the most powerful, kind, abundant version of you interact?
Imagine having a really positive, life affirming interaction.
Where you get lifted from the interaction, NOT even thought it’s challenging BUT because it’s challenging and therefore an opportunity to grow!
The ultimate goal for mindfulness of thoughts is to take information and bring in calm compassion, without getting drawn into the energy of the thoughts.
So if you have a sticky thought.. eg. ‘I don’t like this persons idea at work. I must email them immediately.’
Unhelpful interaction..
start engaging in the thought.
the mind just ruminating on that thought.
staying in that energy, in that negativity.
you build it up and don’t end up acting on the thought in a positive way.
needing unhelpful soothing behaviours, alcohol, vaping, complaining, ruminating (yes rumination is a soothing behaviour).
or only being able to let go of the thought with distraction.
carrying the negative emotion in a frustrated, unhelpful way.
and so the thought continues to pop up.
Positive/helpful interaction..
you oh think that’s interesting I had a thought!
this is is an opportunity for self-growth and self-compassion.
is there an emotion beneath that thought?
what do I feel in the body?
any tension or tightness in the body? Any activation? Can I feel any stress hormones in my system?
bring in self-compassion.
it’s like parenting a child.. You take time in calm but firm way to help them. You don’t end up in their energy, acting as freaked out as them.
then get back on with your day.
without getting lost in the thought.
without getting lost in the emotion.
in fact you have grown here, you have learnt more about yourself, you have given yourself some kindness.
when you’re ready, later when the time is right and if still necessary you can take action.
maybe you email the person at work to have a call but do so in a calm, kind way.
you take action but your emotional well being is not riding on the outcome.
The thought is less likely to pop up again..
..but if it does, you are less bothered to engage with it.
